


Perchance

by withdiamonds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-03
Updated: 2008-08-03
Packaged: 2017-10-08 04:25:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/72665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/withdiamonds/pseuds/withdiamonds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam dreams.  Post 3.16.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Perchance

The first time Sam dreams about the hellhounds ripping into Dean, tearing his skin, making him bleed and scream, is also the first time he actually sleeps after Dean dies. He tried to fight it, thinking that if he kept moving, kept drinking caffeine, kept exercising some goddamn fucking _will power_ he could stay awake forever and then he wouldn't have to see it happen over again.

But eventually, his eyes hot and dry, his skin too tight, he falls asleep. The lessons John Winchester spent all of Sam's life trying to get him to accept fail him. Sometimes, sheer force of will is not enough.

Late on the afternoon of the third day, in the twilight of early evening, Sam stops moving. He's still on his feet, but he stops moving.

It's just for an instant, just long enough to eat a sandwich. He has no appetite, but he forces himself to eat. If he keeps his blood sugar up, he can stay awake.

He's on Bobby's front porch, sun slanting golden through the trees, reflecting off the windshield of Dean's car. The sudden bright glare as he turns his head to watch the Impala is the reason he closes his eyes, leaning back against the wooden railing, warm and splintery in the late spring sunshine.

Dean is on the floor, writhing in agony, and there's blood everywhere. His screams mingle with Sam's, bouncing off the walls and hurting Sam's ears. Sam sees Lilith's excited smile and Dean's blank eyes, lifeless in his blood-spattered face.

Sam jolts awake, stumbles and almost falls. He catches himself on the porch railing, drops his sandwich to the ground. Breath caught in his throat, he hears Dean's screams echo in his head.

Gasping, Sam sinks to his knees, waits for the dizziness to pass. Looking frantically around the dusty floor of the porch, he finds his sandwich. He seizes it, shoves it into his mouth. He chokes, but forces it down.

He needs to keep moving, needs to eat. In a minute he'll get up, go in the house and see if Bobby's made more coffee yet.

A soft breeze lifts his hair for a moment, cooling his forehead, rustling the leaves on the nearby trees. Sam turns his head, looks again at Dean's car in the deepening shadows of evening, as if there are answers there.

He has no idea what to do.


End file.
